Relationshits

For all you eagle eyed and meticulous literates out there, YES, I did actually spell the title of this blog correctly. I aptly named it so because, I for one, believe that the subject of "Relationships" is a very very tricky and sticky one indeed.

Oh how I moaned for years upon years, crying to anyone who would listen to my lonely soul pleading and begging and wondering and questioning, "WHY OH WHY am I single?" "Doesn't anyone love me, am I not pretty enough or special enough- Am I too fat? Is it because I don't shut up? Is it because I am a bit of a nightmare, handful, headache?"

Well having been in a relationship for nearly 1 year (*Groans) it seems like an eternity, why on earth was I complaining before? I quite liked my solitude, my comfortable evenings just me and the pooches, watching Eastenders with no fear of someone changing the channel when I diverted my attention from the telly for a Milli-micro-nano second.

I mean Jesus Christ, I can actually check my Facebook notifications whilst listening to dear ol' Dot Cotton reciting verses from the bible. Women can multitask remember. But now having revelled in the moment of being a couple all those months ago, he scornfully reminds me that it was I who begged him to move in.

In reality, I remember it as so desperately wanting the 32 inch Samsung to move in and to sing and hum on the newly painted white wall (courtesy of the other half) not actually wanting to share my fridge space, bed, underwear drawer, late nights, gas, electricity, nice biscuits, Cheerios, bloody Heinz's spaghetti hoops and other important stuff that makes a big bloody difference when you have to share it for such a prolonged period of time.

So, I have to come to my own revelation, not anybody else's, that being single does not mean being lonely, it means having independence, being strong, not having to clean up someone else's rubbish, clothes, putting down the toilet lid, opening the bathroom window again and again and probably being a lot bloody richer too.

Okay, so I don't have to grab the ordinary Joe off the road to change my light bulb anymore- I'll just sit in the dark til my girlfriends come over to help!

When I'm cooking, there will be no more cooking two separate meals because I kinda like my food and if I don't then I'm sure Bully and Coco will gobble it up appreciatively, tails wagging while salivating.

The conclusion is I finally realise that cohabiting is just not for me and while the billions of people do it and somehow enjoy it and have relationships that last for years and years, I quite frankly, don't want to.

There I said it.